well.. work is rather drastic.. well a bit nice (urgh!) .. but really... really toxic (exponentially).. I'm still trying not be so over dramatic upon everthing.. you see.. i have been rather helpless these days..
after the very tiring teambuilding.. i realized a lot of things..the quality of teachability and stuff.. gosh.. how i miss riz.. i ve been in a lot lately and ive felt for the ...well.. for the n^th time in my life, nobody really cared on what or how well i do something.. sometimes, im thinking, did i really overestimated myself? i dont like such idea.. i felt i have thought myself that i am so not that "ideal".. that i am not the woman that i am dreaming to be someday. di ba nga ang sabi is, "be your excellent self, all the days of your life"? now im thinking.. am i being such a baby in my team? am i the weakest link? or if there's any, am i any diffrent from that person?
i am hoping to be a better person without sacrificing other areas in my life. my point is to be my best self. at all areas. career, self improvement, love, and family. i want nothing but balance in everything. i will not bear to give up any part of it any matter or sacrifice it in one way.
I felt so bad right now. shet.. why am i so being in love with a person who is not proud of me? who cant make me comfortable? who makes me feel ugly? i cant be like this forever!! i cant feel ugly all the time. i cant always be mad at myself for not being the girl that he wants.
damn... i cant seem to smile these days!!! urggh!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment